if your boyfriend pauses call of duty to text you back, dump him because he plays shitty games
i hate it when u sharpen ur pencil hella sharp and then right when u put pressure on it, it breaks like wtf pencil do ur job
Teaching a friend to dance.
when i was 14, i proposed to this girl in my class and she said yes but our parents said we were too young to get married so we tried to do it in secret and one of my friends found this shady guy to marry us but then the girl broke up with me when she transferred schools and we never got the marriage annulled but i don’t even know if it was official in the first place so long story short, i think i might be married.
hey there delilah whats it like up in rack city?
i see 10s of 10s of 20s laying down upon your titties
yes i do
no one can twerk dat ass like you
i swear its true
ppl falling down a flight of stairs is honestly the funniest thing because U CAN’T HELP THEM u have to wait until they reach the bottom and ur just WATCHING
i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that
hey could you hold this for me a second *gives you my hand*
dragons can literally never blow out candles that is so sad
how to get a girls panties wet:
- kiss her roughly
- shove her down on the bed
- slip off her underwear
- slam dunk em in the toilet